and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize