I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
