I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
