is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
