I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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