I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
