Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
