Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize