i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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