i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
