You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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