That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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