So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
