hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
