NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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