Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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