last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
