Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
