Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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