I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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