I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize