Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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