All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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