Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
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You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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