The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
