bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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