I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
