you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
