maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
