But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
