I'm so fucking centered right now
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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