He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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