i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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