And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
