were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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