Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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