I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
