FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
