is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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