Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
