A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
