3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize