I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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