I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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