I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
