so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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