I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
