Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
