So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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