Moan for me like Helen Keller
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
