What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
