just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
