p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
