Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just google imaged poop.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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