Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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