omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
