Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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