i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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