That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
