her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize