Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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