and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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