So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
