Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize