Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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