Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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