Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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