If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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