he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
