it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
