are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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