You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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