I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
